Pass me that, will you?
by Eliptical
Summary: Bella and Edward are bored in Biology one day - fifty years post breaking dawn - and decide to pass notes. Will they get caught after talking about their other classmate's Ahem, weird thoughts and their teacher's strange behavior? Rated T because I'm paranoid.


**Summary: ****Bella and Edward pass notes in Biology. Post-breaking dawn, about 50 years later. They came back after twenty years...**

**Disclaimer:**** If I owned Twilight, a lot of bad stuff wouldn't happen. So I don't.**

**Author's Note:**** I don't mean to offend anyone, so I apologize in advance.**

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_**Third Person POV**_

***Key: Bella | **Edward**)***

It was another rainy day in Forks. Just like almost every other day. But this particular rainy day was also a very boring day in Forks High School. So boring, in fact, that Bella might've fallen asleep (if she could) listening to the teacher drone on about cell division or whatever. She kept reminding herself that if Edward could stand doing these same things year after year, so could she, because she had, so far.

But eventually, she felt as if she would jump out of her chair and start ripping her hair out (she had already gone through this lesson _twice _in Pheonix, not to mention four other times in different schools), so she tore a scrap of notebook paper out of her binder and, covering her writing with her elbow, scribbled a note across for Edward, slipping it across the table to him.

_EDWARD! I'm bored. I already learned this._

In less than a second, Edward responded in his beautiful handwriting.

**I can see that. Do you want me to distract you?**

She glanced up and saw his half-smirk, and she felt as bright blush should paint her extremely pale cheeks.

_Okay. But I'm still bored._

**Okay, then. What do you want to do this weekend?**

_I thought you're goin' hunting! DID YOU LIE TO ME?_

**Yes, but I can stay home - if you want.**

_No. Your eyes are all black and it's starting to creep me out. YOU LIED?_

**No Bella, I didn't lie -_-**

_Edward! What does rodent blood taste like?_

**Um, I don't know. Never really tried it.**

_Okay then. I'll be the first to eat a mouse!_

**Really, Bella?**

_What? You gotta problem with my eating habits?_

**Well, technically, they're not _eating _habits...**

_Oh shut up._

_TWO MINUTES LATER..._

_E__dward? Why are you laughing?_

**The teacher has, um.. strange thoughts about... the principal...**

_WHAT! EWW! what are they! tell me!_

**Ahaah! He's got a cat in his thoughts, too!**

_Wow. Well that clears everything up. great job. (sarcasm)_

**Eh...I don't think you want to know...**

_Never Mind then. Eddie, I'M STILL BORED ! ! ! _

**Don't call me that. Are you okay? stop banging your head on the table. You're going to break the granite. (Again)**

_No. I'm dying. P.S. do you think he has a glass eye? he keeps staring at me with one but the other eye's looking across the room..._

**! ! ! ! !**

_JUST KIDDING. GOSH. P.P.S. do you think the teacher's on his period?_

**Bella, you do realize he is male, right?**

_YES, I am fully aware of that particular fact! But can't you smell him?_ And_ he's always grumpy._

**Bella, all humans smell like blood. He's grumpy because no one's paying attention.**

_Oh. Right. But he smells especially bloody. I still think he is._

**Bella!**

_Sorry. Heh heh._

Five minutes of boredom later...

_Wow Edward. I'm like seventy-nine. I'm old._

**I'm almost 150.**

_Hee hee. Yo old, foo!_

***facepalm***

_OOH! dare me to run over to that blond kid and sneeze in his ear?!_

**Can we focus on one conversation at a time? Oh, and you do realize that you can't sneeze, right?**

_Oh right. Darn._

**Oh wait, never mind. go ahead and sneeze in his face. That one's got some graphic thoughts. *shudder***

_ABOUT ME?!_

***Shudders* About Me.**

_That's disgusting!_

Suddenly, since the two vampires didn't bother to pay attention and were so engrossed in the thoughts of sneezing in someone's ear, neither of them had noticed the possible glass-eye wearing teacher to get up and literally waddle up to them, then snatch the paper that the notes were on.

"Mr. Cullen and Ms. Hale? Care to explain why neither of you have been paying attention? Or can you name all of the stages of the cell cycle and have no need to listen to the lecture?"

Bella and Edward, without even blinking, simultaneously answered (together at the same time), "Interphase, Mitosis; Prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase, and cytokenisis."

The teacher looked at them in shock for a moment before frowning and walking back toward his desk, the note in his hand. They both knew that they could easily run up to him (at vampire speed, of course) and swipe the note before he read anything, but neither of them was prepared for what he did next. - Well, Bella wasn't, Edward probably heard him thinking about it, though. - he turned around and handed the folded-up piece of notebook paper to none other than Guan Juley - the kid with the "graphic thoughts" that Edward was telling us about earlier.

"Mister Juley, care to read this little note out loud to the class?"

Guan nodded a Sure!-I-don't-care nod and took the paper. He stood up, and after clearing his throat, began speaking;

"Edward, I'm bored" he said in a girly voice, a horrible imitation of Bella, "I can see that. Do you want me to distract you?" his Edward-immitation was even more of a failure. "Okay. But I'm still bored. Okay, what do you want to do this weekend? I thought you're going huntin' DID YOU LIE TO ME?" Guan, of course, was part of the school'd theater club, thus he read the note in a very dramatic-stage like voice.

On and on he went, reading continuosuley about Edward's dark eyes - sending about ten students looking over at the table to see if that was the truth, on to the rodent blood, making others gag and stare at the Cullens as if they were crazy, and of course let's not forget the discussion about whether the teacher had a glass eye and was on his period, making some snicker and giggle and the teacher turn bright red.

Still others looked around, confused, at the part discussing age. Bella looked down at the table sheepishly, praying to her late great-grandmother that no one would start... making assumptions about that particular statement.

Then of course was the part about Guan's thoughts. Guan himself turned bright red, his voice trailing off as he continued to read. Once finished, he handed the paper back to an even brighter-red teacher, complete with pursed lips and flared nostrils.

Suddenly the bell rang, and the students filed out, laughing and snickering and glancing at Bella and Edward, Guan, and the teacher. Just as the Cullens were about to exit, their teacher stopped them and sighed out a deep breath.

"I will see you two later in detention." he said with a ring of finality to his tone. They both nodded, both trying to keep back a smile, and left the classroom to their next class.

"I told you!" Bella hissed, gesturing back to the still-open classroom door. Edward glanced over, and sure enough, their teacher was rubbing his indeed, glass eye.

Bella stuck out her toung as she hopped around the corner of the hallway. _Still so observant, _Edward thought with a chuckle.

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** *~Review Please! This is my first try at comedy!~***


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